Collisions

COLLISIONS

Flowing in and out

Intersecting all about

Past, present and future collide

within my heart reside

Ti's a taste of heaven

What I see

When all together we shall be

Friends and family surround

Love from all doth abound

Turning from one to the other

Basking all around

Though in some strange way

Surrounded by love this day

I find myself not wanting to stay

Where I can leave and alone pray

There is a solitude that comes along

When in some ways I don’t belong

Knowing though this feeling is wrong

Within I find myself grow strong

Memories come flooding within

The swaying of emotions begin

Ups and downs hold there sway

And within, the turmoil has its way

For the joys that are there

Sorrows abound

Many I bear

Though pained I care

So in my heart I see

Many a person

Laughing in glee

The joys and happiness

Bring a smile to me

For though I feel apart

Content I am

Within my heart

Maybe one day

My time will come

And one with others

I will become

For now I stand

A bit to the side

With patience

I abide

Turning to the realm above

Basking within

This sea of love

-Shiidon, January 2010

It has been over a month since my last post. Much has happened that has kept me occupied. One thing for sure is I had a case of flu and that took me out for over a week and then I had to play catch up in grading and at work. Every other weekend for most of the past month and a half has been spent doing one or anther project. During the illness I had a fever so high that I was in delirium. I am amused that my verbal lashing out was both in Persian and English and not in any of the other languages I speak. This illness struck me in how alone one can be if they are bedridden. I told the nurse on the second day that it was too late to go see the doctor as I was not able to move. Well this passed as it usually does and I found myself at a conference listening to a person who was very dear to me in my youth.

Glenford Mitchel, who recently retired from the Bahá'í Universal House of Justice was in Austin speaking. He was the Secretary of the National Spiritual Assembly of the United States when I was living in the Wilmette area. I had the opportunity to ask for guidance on more than one occasion while spending time in the grounds of the House of Worship. At that time the offices were there at the same site. He was kind, patient and loving in his approach. He clearly respected us as people and did not "write us off" as just more teenagers. His talk was profound and more so considering that he mostly quoted from authoritative texts. I truly respect that in a person.

The second though main source of this poem was in the interactions with others at the conference during the breaks. There were people present that I knew when I was three and every other phase of my life. I had the feeling of past present and future colliding together. The fact that a person on pilgrimage with me would also know a person that I spent time with in Chicago. The fact that there was a person I knew in Chicago now living in Houston and interacting with those of my friends from my time in Houston. In some way it felt that if the hundreds of people present were to draw the connections they had to the others there it would become clear that we all knew each other either directly or through a mutual friend.

I do know one thing. As low as it may seem sometimes, my thoughts go to others like the Bahá'í's in Iran, some of whom are on trial and under the threat of execution, just for believing in a world of peace and love. The very peace and love that surrounded me at the conference. My prayers are with these soles.