Waning Years

WANING YEARS

You struggle with me every day

Sometimes not knowing what to say

Sometimes lucid sometimes not

There are so many things

I have forgot

 

There was a time

When together we were

A time when my words

Did not slur

So many things we have done

For you life has just begun

 

I am in my waning days

Together we still pray

You see me losing touch

More and more

You are my crutch

 

What you cannot see

As from this world I flea

Is how I approach my destiny

 

Those moments when I seem gone

With my loved ones in the beyond

To that place I will soon belong

For when I am not here

It is there I will be

Sorrow not, it’s my destiny

-Shiidon, ‘Alá’ 162 BE, March 2009

I know that this is a more somber subject but I was moved by a thought.  I was watching a dear friend and a customer both speaking about their mothers losing their memories.  Senility is a subject I have experienced with my fathers mother.  I would watch her lose facts and get confused.  Even so, it took a few years of going that rout when she almost did not recognize my father.  I also remember my mothers mother (Khanoom Joon), who almost passed away before me.  I have written earlier about her and watching her look at me as I held her hand and then she would go off elsewhere.  What occurred to me is in some way I think that when these dear ones start wandering they are in someways transitioning to that next realm, just as my Khanum Joon would when she would see people that were not there.

We are a mix of babies, young, middle age and elders.  We all have something to contribute to this world and each other.  I still remember both of my grandmothers and have valuable memories and an appreciation of life.  It is hard to find a person in their thirties who remember what it was like not to have a computer or video game, yet I remember the first pong game and playing it.  I remember the first PC that I ever saw.  I guess what I am saying is that I am beginning to head in the direction of being an elder.  I just don't know what it will be like when I get to be middle aged (just kidding).  Just in the past couple of weeks a young man who frequents the house was showing me his hair cut after we all had a discussion on the economy and the merits of keeping jobs, or the young man who is struggling to find his balance in life and how excited he is at getting a step closer.  The young do seem to listen.

May you enjoy wherever you find yourself in this life.