Running Ahead

RUNNING AHEAD

I stand and watch

As they run ahead

Deep in my heart

I feel dread

 

T’was not long ago

When they followed behind

Listening to my directions

To me they would mind

But now their own way

Determined to find

 

Trip and fall they must

As a parent I stand back and trust

Into what kind of world

Did it them thrust?

 

I am reminded that

Not long ago

It was I that ran ahead

And my own way did go

 

As they run far ahead

I slow down my pace

And realize that

Myself I must face

 

A new chapter has come

The way ahead unknown

I see how much, over time

I have grown

At my loss this time

I clearly bemoan

 

I am told by the wise

This is a part of life

Another source of joy and strife

Teeming, surrounding and rife

 

And now I must forge on

These worries I insist be gone

Towards the end of my journey

To which I long

With anticipation a reunion

Where I belong

 

But I have yet a path to tread

How long and to where

Unknown, instead

Step by step I forge ahead

 

A peace comes over me

As ahead I see

The growth of my progeny

Rushing towards their destiny

 

I am ready for this last stage

Another chapter

Another page

 

A renewal of heart and soul

A reassessing of old and new goals

My children and I

Assuming new rolls

 

I know whether here or above

They will always know

A fathers love

-Shiidon, Nur 166BE, June 2009

Today I walked down to the creek.  I walked more cautiously as some unknown creature the other day ran past me and into the water.  Today it was not on the ground.  As i was focused on my feet a huge noise came crashing down on my.  I looked up to see a large buck (deer) running on the other side of the creek away from me.  I went to the waters edge, carefully immersed my hands in the water, wiped my face and then offered a prayer.  It may sound a bit much to you the reader but it is so peaceful that I feel compelled to do so.  I then sat down on the rock and meditated.  I saw a butterfly flying up stream, heard doves cooing, water running, leaves rustling, dogs barking in the distance and my soul filling up with new energy and focus.  This poem has been rustling around in my head.  I came back inside, made some tea and then proceeded to write.

On another note, I saw a very inspiring movie last night, Man on Wire.  It is about the Frenchman who crossed back and forth between the twin towers without any safety precautions. It was  a lifelong goal that he had and attained.  It was beautiful and inspiring.  I spent some time reflecting though on the cost that he paid for attaining his goal.  In attaining his goal there was not another feat that could top that one and he was left with that one great moment.  In the process he lost all of those he had held dear to him during his long and arduous journey towards that moment of amazing accomplishment.

It is this sense of loss that helped spear on my poem.  My children moving on and ahead in life, no longer so dependent or even wanting their fathers advise and direction.  I do not feel spurned but encouraged that this, a normal phase in life, has found my children.