Window Gazing

WINDOW GAZING

I see a world

Though my window pane

I long to reach

But feel only pain

Always athirst, and never sated

The troubles fall, unabated

All of these I would take

But for only one fulfilled

Moment’s sake

But it seems I must

In the future trust

And with this cope

And give self-hope

Through this window

I now see

The face with whom

I long to be

In this sight

I take delight

And gaze throughout

The night

I reach out, but alas

Between us, a pane of glass

Now I wonder if what I see

Is a vision, or my destiny

I strive at times

To bridge this gap

But it takes two

To brake this glass

So, I keep looking from afar

Carrying many, a well-worn scar

But I know that deep within

A flower is waiting, to begin

-Shiidon, March 2010

It has been a bit since my last poem with much to think about. First of all this poem is not about anyone specific. I just wanted to eliminate any thoughts in that direction, to convey a feeling.

A few weeks ago I had a special meal with some new found friends. I met a couple at the Bahá'í Center when we had a devotional for the Bahá'í's in Iran that are in prison and possibly are in a life threatening situation. This couple is from Bangladesh. When I was a child I lived in what was then East Pakistan, but now is Bangladesh. They invited me over for lunch and I met another person from Pakistan who lived in Bangladesh at the same time. During lunch I sat with these two men and reminisced about times past. It was a profound moment in my life. For the past 40 years I have told people about Bangladesh, shared with them stories and described events and life there. For the first time I was sharing with two people memories of common places and times. It was, in a way, a time feeling at home. I found myself reconnected with my past in a profound and deep way. I later sent a copy of a map of where we lived and received a response that the place I lived was on a lake (I remember it as a river) and thriving with condominiums, and quite beautiful. How special.

While I have memories of Albuquerque, Missouri and North Dakota it was Bangladesh that my first deepest and life effecting realizations came to be. It was from there that I realized that the world was not a just world. It was there that I saw true starvation, not the pan handling I so loath on the streets. I loath it for I have seen real suffering and dying. I remember the leprosy. I contracted malaria. I remember the desire flowering in my heart to be of service to mankind. It was there that I wanted to help alleviate the pains of my fellow man. Please don't think that the memories are these horrors that I describe, though for a time they were. I remember the beauty. I remember the incredible love of the people and the joys of being among them. Unlike my new friends, I lived mostly in my family compound and was sick for a good part of the three years there so I did not get to go kite flying like they did or experience some of the other amazing things that I would have had I been a bit older or my family a bit more adventurous with us kids.

I now find myself wanting to return to that long lost home, that land of memories long past. I know that none of what I remember will be there. What is there waiting for me though is the love of the people and the welcome I am sure to receive should I return to visit.

"The Earth is but one country, and Mankind its citizens." Bahá'u'lláh