Smiling Tears

SMILING TEARS

Thus it ends

Life as I know it

Changed today

And I find myself

Facing a new day

The last balloon

Has been cut free

Soaring to destiny

And away from me

I sit alone

In my empty house

A king on his throne

Yet no one around

Free from me

They have flown

Now in truth

Myself I face

In this forlorn place

For some caring

Even a small trace

I reach out to give

Yet no longer here they live

I wander the halls

To the echoing calls

Of the past life

That lived here

Day and night

The din of

Life fast paced

Has with silence

Been replaced

The true question

That comes to mind

Is what legacy

Do I leave behind

Will these souls

Grow strong

Or will their direction

Steer wrong

Succeed or fail

At this start

Is not a portent

Of how life

Will chart

All our lives

Are lived up and down

From one to the other

We circle round

It remains however

I have no shoulder

To cry upon

What approacheth

Is solitude anon

You can say

“That’s life”

And of this

Tis true

Yet what is there

To prepare you

Kids go, parents age

What is the joy

At this stage

It seems I go

From one to another cage

If I was not sad

Twould be bad

For tis human nature

With these we cope

And hold tightly

To life’s rope

My voice echoes

And fills the space

I sing the songs

That emptiness displace

I am grateful

For the chance

A caregiver

Who’s life was enhanced

By assisting others

In lives advance

…..I smile tears

-Shiidon, August 2010

As of tomorrow I will be mostly without children in the house. Shervin is spending most of his time at work, school or with friends. He goes to his mothers more than here as it is closer to all the above mentioned places. Travis is on his way to his grandmother and of the others they are mostly not around. The locks on the doors are being changed tomorrow night (too many times keys were taken from place to place). I will now be back to a life of solitude which I have not lived in years. All the way back the last years, including China, I was not alone. It is a new feeling and one that has both its ups and downs.

I will see my parents soon and will be at my cousin's son's daughters wedding. Two small trips this year. I look forward to the brake.