Searching Life

SEARCHING LIFE

From the first day

I opened my eye

I have asked the question,

A simple “why?”

Each day I open my eye

I still ask the question why

And suspect I will

Till the day I die

The question first comes

From a place of wonder

Into this world we

Seemingly did blunder

At first we focus

On what we see

What is meant

For us to be

As we grow

More of the world

Doth show

And the more

We want to know

There comes a time

When the focus doth change

And deeper within doth

Our questions range

We slowly see

The world beyond

A direction to which

Our heart grows fond

The questions of

This world grow pale

The more of our spirits

Doth become unveiled

This world loses meaning

As we hear

The angels singing

Leaving our soul,

Resonating, ringing

I look now upon

A little one

Who’s life

Has just begun

Strange it is

That I see

The beginning of a life

That will progress

For an eternity

Oh the things

I could tell

To that little one

Who can only

Now yell

Focus directly on

The world of meaning

For from this world

We are already weaning

Alas I know

That a destined path

We must tread

And mistakes we will make

Too many I dread

But one day soon

My wings will spread

And I will fly

On ahead...

-Shiidon, November 2009

This poem started to come to me a couple of weeks ago. I envisioned the beginning and parts included. However, an event occurred this past Saturday that changed my life and brought about a focus on this poem. I held my first grandchild in my arms three hours after her birth. Her name is Ashlynn Therese Hutchcraft and my son Shervin is her father. Many things have been going through my mind over the past months regarding this blessed event and I have given it much thought. The obvious things such as my being too young to be a grandparent went through my mind. Both my parents and grandparents were in their 60's when they became grandparents. What I do know is this; all thoughts, concerns, questions and contemplations went out the door as I held that little one in my arms. It is a moment that I will never forget.

This poem comes from the thought of our being alive in this world as a way station on the road to eternity. We start our lives trying to learn and we will continue to do so for eternity as we try to attain the impossible goal of knowing God and the journey of loving God. I stand at an imaginary timeline with my children and grandchild on my left and my parents and others on my right. At some point the continuum progresses and I will disappear from that timeline of this world and into the next and my granddaughter will take my place and on from there.

I have reached a place in life where I am contend and without longing. Yes, my children are fast growing up and soon I will be alone, but if that is my destiny so be it. I am reading, writing, enjoying life. I went this week to the opera. It was my first live opera in twelve years. I went alone and enjoyed the production. I look around me and take great pleasure in the joys of their lives and silently pray for the tests that they are sometimes challenged with. Yes, it has been said that my head is in the clouds, well so be it. I look at the fact that my years here are numbered and that I need to make the best of them and learn what I can to be prepared for what comes next. Peace and love to all of you.