Journey of the Heart

JOURNEY OF THE HEART

We spin around and around

And with comforts surround

What’s the aim

the endgame

I have reached my fill

It has lost its thrill

I realize that there is much more

I strive for that distant shore

A step has been taken

My life is shaken

What’s it to be

And what will I see

Oh, if I only knew

My destiny

And for now

What is it that comes

A feeling of peace

Tension released

What do we give up

When we step up

What is it that we leave

Certainly, we believe

That we need

The dross of life

Certainly, what I have found

Brings joys, abound

For t’is not the answer

That leads us on

T’is the act, we happen upon

So, as I shed

I carefully tread

I look forward, not back

I do not focus

On what I lack

I look upon the mystery

Of what’s to be

What’s in store for me

We’ll see

-Shiidon, March 2010

This year I had a profound fast. It seemed to galvanize my soul. I found myself with new energy at the end and almost did not want it to end. What did happen was a new focus came to me. I am embarking on so many different journeys at the same time. First of all, I am now a lead tutor and that entails much more in terms of responsibilities, I love it. I see a new direction for my oldest son, my middle son is almost over with his final hurdle between him and college. My daughter is speeding towards life at breakneck speed, speaking of which, she is also getting her drivers license soon (yikes). This poem came to me as I sat here today. It speaks for itself.

Movies of Life

MOVIES of LIFE

Movies show their magic

The comic and the tragic

We laugh, we cry

With characters, we identify

Highs and lows come and go

As we watch yet another,

Picture show

We celebrate the victory

And wallow in the misery

What I ask is this

Look at me

I've had highs and lows

Times that merit a tale or two

But of my life, who knew?

The events with me

Are real, no doubt

Nothing though, that I would tout

So, to extrapolate

For we can all relate

A saga can be found

In any life

To which we are bound

And should we choose to see

There’s a world of tales

Beyond you and me

Do we continue to ignore

The stories that surround

The adventures of dear ones abound

Would we rather in illusion

Invest self and time

Or do we choose

To see the sublime

…in each other.

-Shiidon, March 2010

I am a movie fan and watch many a film. I do not watch TV and have not for years. I have been and still am reflecting on a life where we invest so much in the artificial and not enough on the real. Artificial ingredients in food, artificial worlds in our computers and an artificial experience in a movie. You can watch a movies and invest so much of your emotions to it for, after a few hours, it is gone. If it was a real life situation, we would be invested for an indeterminate period of time and not be certain of how long we would be caught up in someones tragedy or for that matter, victory. Romance? It surrounds us. Comedy? Just look at my life :-) Tragedy? We all have experienced tragedy. It surrounds us. When we ask someone "how are you doing?" are we actually caring? If so, how often have we then followed up with more questions and actually care? I had a customer this past Friday that is going through exactly what I did fifteen years ago when my marriage and family fell apart. I was able to share with him encouragement and ensure him that "this too shall pass."

I daresay, if we but start following the tales that surround us, we shall be amazed at how much more fulfilling life really is. I am not saying to do what is the norm, which is gossip and backbiting, but share with individuals what is going on with them. In doing so, in some way, you are there for them. I certainly know that there are those who are there for me when this happens to me. What joy life is!

Window Gazing

WINDOW GAZING

I see a world

Though my window pane

I long to reach

But feel only pain

Always athirst, and never sated

The troubles fall, unabated

All of these I would take

But for only one fulfilled

Moment’s sake

But it seems I must

In the future trust

And with this cope

And give self-hope

Through this window

I now see

The face with whom

I long to be

In this sight

I take delight

And gaze throughout

The night

I reach out, but alas

Between us, a pane of glass

Now I wonder if what I see

Is a vision, or my destiny

I strive at times

To bridge this gap

But it takes two

To brake this glass

So, I keep looking from afar

Carrying many, a well-worn scar

But I know that deep within

A flower is waiting, to begin

-Shiidon, March 2010

It has been a bit since my last poem with much to think about. First of all this poem is not about anyone specific. I just wanted to eliminate any thoughts in that direction, to convey a feeling.

A few weeks ago I had a special meal with some new found friends. I met a couple at the Bahá'í Center when we had a devotional for the Bahá'í's in Iran that are in prison and possibly are in a life threatening situation. This couple is from Bangladesh. When I was a child I lived in what was then East Pakistan, but now is Bangladesh. They invited me over for lunch and I met another person from Pakistan who lived in Bangladesh at the same time. During lunch I sat with these two men and reminisced about times past. It was a profound moment in my life. For the past 40 years I have told people about Bangladesh, shared with them stories and described events and life there. For the first time I was sharing with two people memories of common places and times. It was, in a way, a time feeling at home. I found myself reconnected with my past in a profound and deep way. I later sent a copy of a map of where we lived and received a response that the place I lived was on a lake (I remember it as a river) and thriving with condominiums, and quite beautiful. How special.

While I have memories of Albuquerque, Missouri and North Dakota it was Bangladesh that my first deepest and life effecting realizations came to be. It was from there that I realized that the world was not a just world. It was there that I saw true starvation, not the pan handling I so loath on the streets. I loath it for I have seen real suffering and dying. I remember the leprosy. I contracted malaria. I remember the desire flowering in my heart to be of service to mankind. It was there that I wanted to help alleviate the pains of my fellow man. Please don't think that the memories are these horrors that I describe, though for a time they were. I remember the beauty. I remember the incredible love of the people and the joys of being among them. Unlike my new friends, I lived mostly in my family compound and was sick for a good part of the three years there so I did not get to go kite flying like they did or experience some of the other amazing things that I would have had I been a bit older or my family a bit more adventurous with us kids.

I now find myself wanting to return to that long lost home, that land of memories long past. I know that none of what I remember will be there. What is there waiting for me though is the love of the people and the welcome I am sure to receive should I return to visit.

"The Earth is but one country, and Mankind its citizens." Bahá'u'lláh