Lamentation

LAMENTATION

Over the years

I've shed many a tear

And there’s more to come

I fear

We live in two worlds

The one we approach

Real

The one we are in

Surreal

For some time

I have found

Myself living

In the world

Sublime

I see the shadows

Dance around

As these fleeting bodies

Doth me surround

Ti’s hard to live

In a world unknown

When all I know

Is the world I've grown

I retreat

To the world on high

As I withdraw

In my mind’s eye

Tis a salve that sooths

And through challenges

I doth move

But it would seem

In this world of dream

That I find myself

Alone, I doth gleam

When sorrows fall

Like heavy rains

And the seemingly

Unbearable pain

I bear it alone

All the same

The joys are few

And far between

And fleeting as in a dream

I know not why

This is my fate

Or where I’m going

At any rate

A goal I see ahead

Towards which

I steadfastly tread

Then of a sudden

Deflected away

Instead

Of never attaining the goal

I dread

Are the targets I see

Truly where I’m to be

Or are they lessons

From which to learn

And some mysterious

Objective to earn

For nigh half a century

I have charged on

Obediently following

Towards what

I know not

Of those few years

I have forgot

After a while

The rain becomes norm

And I move

Form storm to storm

Losing hope in my salvation

For t'is this revelation

I would not trade

One moment of grief

For the mirage of relief

For t'is in these storms

That we doth grow

And ti’s this I truly know

These are all truths

It would stand to reason

Turning away

Would be treason

The knowing of this

Doth bring bliss

The embrace of the pain

Like a near fatal kiss

One day I may know why

In this life or

When I die

I think of this and sigh

Will I know peace or

Of it be denied

I am grateful

Of this life of mine

I would trade it not

For one more fine

I am thankful for that

Which You doth ordain

Your faithful servant

I do remain

Where am I to be

Is there someone for me

And am I to be here

Or beyond the sea

T’s true through tests

We achieve our best

But this is a self-deluding ploy

In hopes of fleeting joy

We are preparing for

The world to come

The world eternal

Were our potential

We become

The world of eternity

Is where I want to be

Though I fear

Many a year

Must lapse

Before that world

I’ll see

The things of this earth

With me have no berth

For t’is only character doth grow

And in time

Our true selves

Doth show

So I trod on

Alone for now

Through pain, advancing forward

Though I know not how

No other way

Do I know how to be

As I reach out

To my destiny

-Shiidon, June 2010

There are two quotes that arise when thinking about this poem. The first I read every day and have for over five years. The second my father sent to me last week after he read the poem. I think this time, the poem is self explanatory. The key words to me are being content with His pleasure and thankful for what He hath ordained.

O SON OF BEING!

Seek a martyr's death in My path, content with My pleasure and thankful for that which I ordain, that thou mayest repose with Me beneath the canopy of majesty behind the tabernacle of glory.

(Bahá'u'lláh: Arabic Hidden Words #45)

The more difficulties one sees in the world the more perfect one becomes. The more you plough and dig the ground the more fertile it becomes. The more you cut the branches of a tree the higher and stronger it grows. The more you put the gold in the fire the purer it becomes. The more you sharpen the steel by grinding the better it cuts. Therefore, the more sorrows one sees the more perfect one becomes. That is why, in all times, the Prophets of God have had tribulations and difficulties to withstand. The more often the captain of a ship is in the tempest and difficult sailing the greater his knowledge becomes. Therefore I am happy that you have had great tribulations and difficulties. For this I am very happy -- that you have had many sorrows. Strange it is that I love you and still I am happy that you have sorrows.

'Abdu'l-Bahá, Star of the West, vol. 14, no. 2, p. 41.