Long-Suffering

LONG-SUFFERING

Again and again

I lay my heart bare

And set it before

Someone

For whom I care

Each and every time

I go this way

It brings sorrow

And dismay

And the waves of self-destruction

I can’t belay

Oh how I long

To sever myself

From these dreams

Those that

It would seem

Bring forth anguish

A fate for life

For me deemed

At what point

Will I give up

And stop the dreaming

The hope

The desire

And burn them all

On life’s funeral pyre

Methinks the mistake

That I do make

Is that to someone

I do rate

Long-suffering to me

Is innate

My caring for others

Knows no bounds

But the revers, for me

Hath not been found

As I sleep tonight

I hope and pray

These hopeless dreams

Will go away

And I can focus

On one more day

-Shiidon, January 2011

This poem came to me late last week. There were ups and downs but it ended on a high note of sorts. I took both John and Winrik to dinner and a movie. It was the last time to do this before John moved to Dallas. We saw Tron Legacy in Imax 3D and it was well worth it. The movie was fantastic and the company was great. We had a great time and then I took Winrik home. On the way back to Lakeway to drop John off we stopped at the convenience store for coffee and snacks, a routine we did for years. It was John who, many years ago suggested getting something to drink on the way home years ago. Regardless of going to a conference, a Reflections Gathering or an event, we always stopped off for drinks and snacks. So in a way this was a point of closure for me.

I now find myself, well... by myself. Winrik is at home, John is in Dallas, Travis is at his grandmothers and Shervin is working. Shahdi is in Ruidoso and I am in my fortress of solitude. I am enjoying this time now and appreciate it as must as possible. Life has a way of surprising you and I don't want, as reflected upon in an earlier post, to take this time for granted.

Enjoy life, be happy and keep smiling :-)