Purgatory

PURGATORY

With longing I yearn

For the world to come

My heart doth burn

My whole being numb

Alas, if that place

Is as glorious

As it would seem

In it I do not belong

But tis not for me to deem

Unworthy am I

Or so I feel

Enough it seems

That my mind doth reel

Yet unworthy as well

In this world to be

Now my dilemma

You begin to see

There is much

That I do lack

Tis fear of this

That keeps me back

Yet here am I

Looking for direction

Through critical and harsh

Introspection

My only thought

Is to serve

To my fullest extent

Without reserve

And in some way

I may the beyond

Deserve

-Shiidon, January 2011

I was meditating on this theme earlier today. Several points. Yes, it is somewhat introspective. However, one of my friends said it best. He said that he knows me so he knows that things are not as dark as they show here at times. A way to look at this is that I find a moment, a thought, a place or a theme and then set about trying to paint a picture through words for the reader. Another friend asked if I was happy. What a hard question. They then stated that it was either the past or future that dictated my answer. That was when I thought of the title of this poem.