Certitude

CERTITUDE

I believe

In something higher

Though not lush gardens

Nor hellfire

What I believe

Is so abstract

Tis not simple

Nor exact

It binds all

Believer or not

One and all

Though fewer these days

Heed the call

I see evidence

All around

Though others insist

Tis without ground

Nothing I say or do

Can prove me right

There is no hard proof

No matter how slight

I cannot pass it

From father to son

There is no way

This can be done

It is something

That is found within

I am not sure

From where it doth begin

Yet tis something

That is sown within

It is an anvil

Upon which all doubt is struck

A chance to erode

No luck

I know

Within my heart

What I believe is true

And in time

We shall all see through

The doubts and fears

That us surround

And when we reach that place

We are all bound

We shall know

For it will show

What it is

To have Faith

-Shiidon, September 2011

I had a profound talk with an amazing young man who just so happens to be my son. We spoke briefly about faith and what it was to have it. I have thought about my parents and me and my children and grandchild. Each one of us is on a journey to understanding. Faith is something that is developed. It can't be bartered or sold. The faith I am talking about is the belief in God. I have absolutely no doubts that there is a God, yet not the God that some people describe. It is as possible for us to understand God as it is for the table to understand the carpenter. We can't be partners with God nor can we ever approach Him, no matter what we do to try. It is like a moth, striving to reach the moon.

If I am wrong, so be it, I will have lived as good a life as I can. Should I be right, well then, it will not have been a faith in vain. I do believe this, we do not have any clue what lies ahead after this ever so brief life. I also believe that we are all going along the same journey together, though some further along than others.

I am looking forward to whatever time I have left in this world to see my children and grandchildren grow in their own unique ways.

Reticent Bard

RETICENT BARD

I see, I feel

But cannot speak

I watch, I wish

Tis hopeless, bleak

You look, I see

And feel what may be

But all I can do

Is turn and flee

For in the end

Who would want me

Tis I think, upon reflection

A hopeless fear, of rejection

And so chances are lost

At great cost

Leaving me to dwell

On my imperfection

Aloof, I may seem

But inside, I scream

Knowing this life

Tis but a short dream

I work to be

Devoid of emotion

Numbly going

Thought life’s motions

Looking for nothing

Hoping not

Accepting my lot

In so many ways

I arise and charge

But when it comes to self

I hold back

By and large

I feel joy

In the simple things

The people I meet

Their hopes and dreams

The older I get

The less I regret

I watch many a soul

As they learn their life’s role

I watch them stumble

Arise more humble

Then rise to victory

Towards their destiny

In so many ways

Like a bard of old

I do observe

As I grow old

The ups and downs

Of the timid and bold

What a glorious life

Tis to behold

-Shiidon, September, 2011

I found myself wanting to write last time but unable to do so. So much was happening and, in the end, I wrote what came to mind. Like any art, I draw from myself when I write. Of the many things I have learned two stand out at this moment. The first is that, however, small, I draw upon events or feelings to bring about any number of stories or poems. It is but a jumping off point and not even necessarily how I truly feel or what is actually happening to me. Sometimes I write out of empathy for what I see or feel. The second is that each person takes what they want from a work of art, piece of music or poem.

Well, The last of the 100+ degree days are here and good riddance. My beloved daughter returns to the area on Tuesday and I will be spending her 18th birthday with her. I look forward to being with her. Another year is going by fast and I suspect that each year will seem faster and faster. The more years we have behind us the quicker life seems to speed by. More to come.