Reflections Upon Self

REFLECTIONS UPON SELF

You ask

How am I

When all I do

Is think of you

Day in and out

I find myself

About to shout

For answers elude

On what life’s about

I find myself

At home alone

Reflecting what was

The here and now

And the cause

…of it all

The effect

I am aware

My heart

Doth slowly tear

Of any hope

I must beware

There is a peace

In this place of mine

As I reflect

On the divine

Of self, I must let go

For on that path

Emptiness doth show

And more pain

Than I will ever know

A whisper of care

That may come my way

Will certainly leave me

In disarray

For it always has

Lead to my dismay

Of this care

Don’t breathe a whisper

For it feeds the hope

From which I must cope

And Pain

Beyond my scope

When things lead awry

Which has and will be

Till the day I die

The happiest

I have ever been

Are those times

I've swallowed within

And faced out

With selfless care

And only of others

Been aware

The days go fast

This life

Will not long last

And to service

Do I hold fast

My hope

Is for others

Taking joy

In the lives I see

And how,

This sets me free

I would live this way

A hundred fold

Would that I know

Another finds joy

And in that I grow

-Shiidon, July 2014

Graduate school has taken much of my creative time and energy which has lead to the long delay between poems on this blog or any other form.  This summer I have off and have been recuperating.  I find myself taking one sentence, interaction, comment or thought from the day and meditate and think about it over and over again.  It sometimes, on a rare occasion, finds itself in written form such as this poem. If perchance someone stumbles upon these posts I would be surprised.  My solace is not in the posting but the writing.  It is the act of creating and writing that somehow purges the self.