Divine Will

DIVINE WILL

As I bow,

before Your Shrine

I must sort

What’s Your will

What’s mine

We seem to think

We know what’s best

Inclined towards comfort

Towards rest

Your will may not

Be what we think

Bringing us

To the very brink

If left to our devices

We would follow

Our self-directed vices

Or we sit idle

As time goes by

Looking ambivalent

Half-hearted, asking why

Year after year

Time marches on

Tear after tear

We don’t move on

We ask for direction

But when it appears

Use deflection

For it seems half-hearted

In our intention

When something appears

To be true

What is it we do?

Attack it anew

Change, is what we fear

For we hold on

To what is dear

Yet what we grasp

Is ephemeral and

Will not long last

We must discern

And in time learn

That a step in the unknown

Is on the path shown

And in time our characters

Doth hone

And the less likely

Out plight bemoan

And in the end

We will have grown

-Shiidon, February 2011

Waiting for change and resisting change at the same time seems to be a common theme. It seems at times that we sit and wait for things to change, or worse yet we get complacent in our current affairs. When we wait for change and don't take steps, change will occur but not necessarily in a way and manner that is best suited for us. When we get complacent we let opportunities, whether it is places, work or people go by and in the end it is our loss. We look for all the reasons why that place/task or person is not right, yet it is all from the familiarity of our comfort zone.

Strive, reach out, dare. Live in the now, not the past. Live in the now, not the future we think is ours. Hopes mean nothing if we don't actively step out of our comfort zone.

Passing Through

PASSING THROUGH

It seems

I’ve passed through

The world I knew

No longer repeating

Those mistakes I do

Through new challenges

I tread, tis true

What can be said

The past is dead

No longer repeating

No dread

A peaceful respite instead

I’ve lived too long

In that state

Over and again

‘Twould not abate

When challenges arise

We overcome

Or succumb

Repeat and bear again

Until we know

And on we go

There is a comfort

In a sad way

By repeating errors

Day after day

And though they scar

Familiar they are

The future at times

A distant star

This new place

That I do myself find

Tis not one

To which I do mind

Gladly leaving

The past behind

Though lest I forget

And live again

With regret

I must remember

That even here

In a life anew

Tis only a state

Of passing through

-Shiidon February, 2011

Well, almost twenty days since my last post and a long time it was. I was occupied with working on a conference that was in the planning for most of last year. It was successful and I was overjoyed at the spirit that prevailed. I had the honor of working with many wonderful people and especially my cousin Darwin. I was able to share memories with Carla and Tahirih and listen to an amazing presentation by a humble and profound speaker, former member of the Universal House of Justice Mr. Hooper Dunbar. The photo is of my son Winrik helping as an usher, I had a lot of fun working with him.

Other things have been happening. There is a constant and amusing theme in my life as to cultural identity. I have touched upon this before so won't elaborate here. I will say that for the second time in recent memories I found myself waking up speaking Persian. Since I am alone, you will have to take my word for it. I have succeeded in completing several outstanding tasks that have been weighing heavily on my shoulders as well. I have had and am still recovering from my first severe and acute sinus infection since my sinus surgery.

I have, as a result of all this found myself more alone than usual. Days go by with the phone not ringing, emails are all but a part of the past due to Facebook and Twitter so there is little going on. I have felt like I have been a burden on my friends and therefore have retreated from calls etc. It is a good place to be though for self reflection can be what is needed.

In four days the Bahá'í Fast starts. I will, if recovered by then, abstain from any food, water or other nourishment from sunrise to sunset for nineteen days culminating in the celebration of the Bahá'í New year on March 21st. I will take this time to recharge my spiritual energy for the year to come. Of all the new years celebrated by all the cultures in the world my favorite is the one celebrated by Bahá'í's and Iranians as March 21st marks the first day of spring.

Until next time, keep smiling and be happy.

Queen of Elegance

QUEEN OF ELEGANCE

Tis not long ago

You left this plain

Tears of sorrow

Falling like rain

I recall a time

Long ago

When I was young

And I you did

First know

You were the essence

And spirit, of elegance

You taught me

How to dance

And how perchance

We grew together

Families united

Our spirits ignited

A stately queen you were

For high and low

Did you care

Against a life

Of strife, you faced

And did dare

To stand for justice

And against despair

You left this Earth

Not alone

And your loved ones

Awaited

As you made to

Your eternal home

Should one say

You are gone

I would say

That they are wrong

For you’ve changed

Many a soul

And each of us carry

A part of you

Wherever we go

Whatever we do

One day, not long now

In that other realm

I will join you

And maybe by chance

You will teach me again

How to dance

-Shiidon, February 2011

I have been trying to write this in some way for a couple of years now. It was a story, then a poem then a story and now a poem. This is about a dear soul that I knew from my younger days. This is a poem about Mrs. Lola Baker. Some background. The Baker family traveled to Evanston and performed a singular service. They in their professional capacity reupholstered the Bahá''í House of Worship in Wilmette. It was at the advice of a relative, Dr. Muhajer, that we had bought the house we lived in. The Baker family moved into our house which was three levels, each with their own kitchen etc. Because of this dear family I had the honor of meeting many prominent people. I remember a man named Greythorn that gave my brother and I the first and only ride in a Rolls Royce. I remember meeting Jesse Jackson's wife who came to dinner on more than one occasion. What happened that summer all of us, black and white, northern and southern, these were mere labels, became one family.

My father and Mr. Baker were good friends by this time and I remember making a movie with my brother and Freddy Jr. with our fathers staring as an odd couple fighting over the thermostat setting. It was a time when the President of the United States asked the American People to conserve energy. Mr. Baker had a major heart attack during this time. I remember the night I was going to Feast, on my fifteenth birthday, and we sat as a family, the Bakers and the Hawley's praying fervently for Mr. Bakers healing. he did recover and lived for many years after that. I remember with sadness when he finally left this world. I remember with shock and dismay when Fred Jr. was suddenly taken from us.

As my parents age I realize that more and more we are relying on our memories of those times and only able to console ourselves by hugging each other instead. Mrs. Baker left this world last year. She taught me how to waltz. It was a monumental and signal time in my life. She cared about me and my family without reserve. As I have said before, family are not always related by blood. To my dear brothers and my sisters Carla and Tahirih, this poem is for you.

Flower Power

FLOWER POWER

I draw the flower

Close to me

Tis joy it brings

And cares doth flee

So small and white

Pleasing to the sight

Imbuing peace

Both day and night

And to me

A great delight

Alone I sit, and contemplate

Upon the direction

My life did take

And the source of comfort

That flower, make no mistake

Why then do I

My fate bemoan

That bloom tis a sign

That I’m not alone

And that I must continue

The direction shown

The gifts it doth give

Are among the reasons

I care to live

I hold it, to my cheek

I feel it’s softness

That to me doth speak

That small white flower

To me unique

It does not judge me

Or push me away

Tis selfless and giving

In its own way

And over me

It doth hold sway

I will hold it close

Each and every day

Tis a talisman indeed

Showing that

In times of need

If we take heed

We can steel ourselves

And through this life, proceed

Upon this symbolic,

and precious steed

-Shiidon, February 6, 2011

A lot, as usual, has happened since my last post. My mother took ill and had to be transported to hospital in Albuquerque a week ago. She only left and arrived home with my father Friday. Home as such. They are right now guests of a friend in Ruidoso as their pipes have frozen from the most recent storm. She is fine and sounds to be in good spirits. We lost work two days this past week due to winter storms. There was the crippling 1.5 inches of snow. Yes, our city came to a standstill over a simple small accumulation of the frozen water. We had controlled rolling blackouts as well. How amazing.

I have accomplished a lot for my teaching work as well as other tasks that I have taken on. I listened with joy at Shervin describing how he is being appreciated at work. I spent a day with Winrik and saw a movie among other adventures. Other than that and my mom's illness I have been mostly alone in the house with little to no phone calls in or out. The silence is only broken by the occasional music I play or the movie or two I watch.

I have a poem or two in the wings and will be getting to them this week.

This picture is my back yard just at the point of drop off to the running creek. It was a beautiful sight, the creek flowing freely and the surrounding foliage coated in white.