Long Gone

LONG GONE

With increased tempo

They come and go

Those whom

We've come to know

I watch lives

Begin and end

To God’s will

We all do bend

Others in our lives

Weave in and out

Sometimes not knowing

What it’s all about

Some come

Never to return

With some that’s fine

And others

With pain we burn

I stand in the middle

Of this circle of life

Surrounded yet alone

As I watch lives unfold

And stories so numerous

They remain untold

Some cautious

And others bold

With outstretched fingers

I do reach

And some lives I do touch

Receiving from me though

Not so much

I watch

As if tis a play

Other people’s lives

Through their joys

And their strife’s

I can’t say

I feel a part

Of this mosaic

For a start

An observer

I am meant to be

Studying others

So it would seem

I dare rush forward

From time to time

Yet I am pushed down

And in sorrow do drown

On life’s steed

Do I ride

And with increased speed

Do I stride

The years

And life stories

Go flashing by

Leaving me with others

To laugh and cry

Another door closes

And leaves me wanting

Having recently

It’s treasures

Shown flaunting

But I have learned in life

To be content

And feel tis a life

Well spent

Doors open or closed

It matters not

The die seems cast

In this life’s plot

Regardless of who

Is at the helm

Our time is short

In this realm

These stories

Will go on and on

Long after

I am gone

One day I’ll find

Where I belong

Even if its after

I’m long gone

-Shiidon, June, 2011

A lot has happened, as one can expect, since the last post. I saw the passing of a dear soul followed by the passing of a dear friend. I was able to spend some quality time with my granddaughter. The air conditioning in my house went out and I found myself sleeping a couple of nights in a 90 degree room. So much to come back to after a couple of weeks of heaven with family. I will write more about these events soon but my heart is still aching and needs some peace. Peace will come soon enough with the visit of family in two days time.

The Cup of Tests

THE CUP OF TESTS

I fall to my knees

Wondering

If You hear my pleas

And hope is elusive

My breath escapes

As it flees

What have I done

To come to this

Have I transgressed

Or in some task

am I remiss

My past is haunting

As I regard it’s taunting

My memories

Leave me wanting

The truth though

Is overpowering

And with this knowledge

I must forward go

These tests

That come down on me

Give no rest

As I navigate

Life’s stormy sea

Like hammer on steel

I receive each blow

From these tests

A radiant glow

Though it may not

To another show

It doth never end

To God’s will

I continue to bend

Not willing

My life to amend

With steadfastness

I rise wearily

Longsuffering

Though sincerely

As I turn and pray

Tis the start

Of another day

My strength and certitude

Waxes with each step

No Longer feeling

So inept

For in this journey

I am not alone

This path

You have clearly shown

Through the tests and years

I have grown

The day these tests will end

Is that day

In which I ascend

To that realm on high

From where none, do you deny

And maybe then

With relief

I will sigh

-Shiidon, June 11, 2011

I recently had a coffee with a friend I had not seen in a few years. They told me that things have not been going well and that they had to focus on some pretty serious issues. At one point the person turned to me and said that they had searched for a cause for their suffering. One can either look at a test as some form of punishment or persecution or one can see it for what it is, an opportunity to learn and grow.

Tests are a matter of perspective. Recent events find the BIHE administration in Iran under assault with over 30 arrested and many still in prison. The government of Iran has deemed BIHE illegal. They have made every attempt to keep Bahá'í students from receiving an education including this most recent one. As Bahá'í's we believe that education is a right. It is so fundamental that if the family cannot educate the child, it is up to the community to take on the responsibility. I am honored to be a part of this most meritorious project and feel overwhelmed that I can be a part of these dear students education.

The photo here is of me with my cousin Ramin's son Nason and his dear wife Emmy at their wedding. I was happy to be a part of that blessed event.

Thirsting

THIRSTING

Surrounded by love

A gift from above

Wishing it, would never end

That time would slow, or bend

And I would not be sent away

With a heart to mend

Separation though

The inevitable end

I walk the streets

With empty heart

Longing for those

From whom I did part

Life without love is shallow

Like a field, barren and fallow

I look forward

In some way

To my end day

When I will see burning

Loves never ending ray

It will show

With aglow

And upon me bestow

An unbroken love

I’m not ungrateful

For what I am given

And for this longing

I hope I’m forgiven

Love has many faces

And all around

We see its traces

A furtive life I lead

Lest someone

Sense my need

I embrace my solitude

As my steadfast steed

I understand, each day's a gift

Through which in some way

Each other to uplift

And not to simply, drift

Every so often

The blows do soften

When again I find

I’m surrounded by love

Unconditional, pure and refined

How long will

This exile last

Likened so far

To an unending fast

To partake again

In loves repast

-Shiidon, June 2011

I have been very busy the past two weeks. I was in New Mexico to watch my daughter graduate High School followed by a wedding in California. I was surrounded by unconditional love for two weeks and found myself wanting it to never end. In New Mexico it a reunion of sorts as I was able to fly my son Shervin in for his sister's graduation. I spent lots of quality time with my parents and my brother and his fiancee. I taught Phyllis how to make Ghormeh Sabzi so that my parents (and her) could have it whenever they wanted it. I saw Shahdi graduate with a very diverse group of classmates including Hispanic, African American, Anglo and Apache students. I was and am very proud of her accomplishments.

I left New Mexico to attend my cousin's son's wedding in Southern California. I was surrounded by my Aunt and most of her family. It was a time I will not forget. I was surrounded by unconditional love around the clock. The time away was peaceful. I returned with much thought to those loved ones left behind. I thought of lost conversations with dear friends on the phone. I reflected on opportunities that we sometimes overlook or miss in life. I thought of mortality and how brief our lives truly are.

While I did not go to the beach and bask in the sun I was basking in the care of loved ones that, while leaving me longing for more, brought a peace upon me and a feeling of being recharged.

This photo is from Ramin and Brenda's back patio, a place of peace, conversation and renewal.