Cycles

Well, I wish that I knew were these poems came from sometimes. This one I am posting today just started flowing off of my fingers. Upon reflection it is interesting how things intertwine.

I had another session with the folks at BIHE and the English classes I will be teaching this coming term. The term was delayed due to the worsening situation in Iran for the Bahá'í's.
Today I will be taking my daughter to her first day of school here now that she is living with me. This has also brought much reflection. Her worries are how she will look and that she does not embarrass herself. The children in Iran are going through some of the most severe persecution in years. They are being singled out, attacked for defending the truth about our Faith and going to school under severe and hostile conditions. For more information on this, and what you can do, please visit www.Bahai.org

Back to the poem. I truly believe that all the tests we go through we end up growing from. i do not regret any of the tests that i have gone through. I truly know that i am a much better man than i was a few years ago. I have learned much. The truth is that i am learning more. I know that the day that I have learned all that i am supposed to learn will be the day that I am to go to the great beyond, whatever awaits there.


Cycles

As I sit and reflect
On the what would be’s
Thinking of how our destinies
Intertwine without reason apparent
Sometimes hopeful, sometimes a deterrent

We pray and hope for what is best
Not realizing that it brings on tests
What we think is right, now
Waits for later
Once we have grown and become better

Knowing now the answers await
For a time, place and date
When it will all comes together
And for a moment, the tests abate
We see how all before came to relate
To the culmination of the moment
When our souls elate
-Shiidon, March 2008

Spring

Well, spring is here. The Bahá'í New Year is the first full day of Spring, March 21st. Prior to this day we fast for one of our months, or nineteen days. No food or drink is taken from sunrise to sunset each of those nineteen days. This marks the first year in the last four that I was able to fast for the entire fast. I am usually plagued by sinus infections and ill. There were times when I thought I would not make it and in some cases would have been justified in not fasting. However, i did persevere and feel very refreshed physically and spiritually as a result. One interesting occurence of note for me. It is understood that one can fast and not have kept the fast and one could have not fasted and have kept the fast. This struck me while i was visiting Shahdi in hospital. With more than an hour to go on the first day of visiting her I sat down and had dinner with her. There was no question that I had no choice but to eat with her and to be there to support her. Later, as i was driving home, I was getting ready to break my fast when i realized that i had eaten dinner with Shahdi earlier. It was truley the first time that I lived the previously mentioned words and I had fasted regardless of the fact that i had eaten dinner with Shahdi.

I am back to walking with a vengeance. I walked yesterday for three miles and tonight for four miles. I am happy to be back on track and look forward to my 20-28 miles a week of walking. It seems that a lot of my inspiration comes during those walks as well.

The coming of Spring this year rang more loudly than it has in previous years. As i write this tonight insects are buzzing at the window. Birds chirp loudly in the morning and evening. The trees are budding with new leaves and the flowers are making their presence known. Tonight, while taking my walk, some of these spring occurences came to me in verse. I share this with you now.

Spring

Springing up, as if overnight
Shoots of green, crowned in white
A carpet of flowers bring to sight
The beauty of flora in the morning light

From within the tree
Come sounds of glee
the chirping of birds
Their own symphony

The breeze wafts refreshing
Across the water, caressing
The ducks swim with verve
Chattering joyously to those observed

The spirit is uplifted
To the soul that drifted
Those long months of winter
Like an unwanted splinter

Free from its grasp
Inhaling in a gasp
All around is stiring
This day the soul doth ring
For it marks
the first day of Spring

Shiidon, March 2008

The Rescue

Today, while taking my walk, this poem came to me. It is primarily about Shahdi in need and then my coming to rescue her. It is written in a way that it could be any two loved ones being reunited. The dream of being rescued by a "knight in shiney armour" does not always come to fruition. However, in the case of Shahdi, it did. This poem is about just that rescue. We just attended a Bahá'í family conference at Texas A&M. At the closing they did a candle ceremony where people would speak about what they were thankful for. Shahd, as it was reported to me, thanked her dad for taking her out of a bad situation. The way it was described to me seemed to say that this was a dream come true for her. We are getting used to each other, the four of us, and it is going quite well. It brings a great joy in my heart to have her so near and dear to me. What greater gift can a father have than the love of his children so close at hand. It will not be long before they go on their way, however, i am grateful to have this day.

The Rescue

There rests within a castle strong
A dark chamber with neither light nor song
Within this chamber the princess did sit
Awaiting a day when rescue permit
She would walk free among the fields
With her loved ones around
And laughter, the only sound

Alas the day did come
When her longing waned
And hope was dim
She coldly thought to end the pain
And her thoughts and sorrow fell like rain

The water fell upon the face
Of the knight afar, as he did pace
With understanding he turned
Towards that castle as his heart burned

He mounted his steed
And prepared an assault
Towards that castle did he depart

Quick and steady did he fight
Always the goal of reunion in sight
Step by step he approached his goal
The struggle taking its toll

Against all odds did he succeed
And pulling her up upon his steed
Racing away from that deep, dark place
The pursuers he did outpace

Under the sun and upon the field
The princess stood before the knight
Knowing that all, would be alright
Vowing there love, the pain erased
With love and joy did they embrace

Shiidon, March 2008

The Deep Dark Forest

The previous poem was written about Winrik. Little did i know that my next poem would be again about my children. Up to no i have written poems for Shervin, one for Winrik and what would logically follow is one for Shahdi. However, events came about that brought about swift and significant changes in my life and that of my children. Indeed this next poem is somewhat about Shahdi but truly it is about my children. As always, there are other ways to see this poem and it could specify lost and refound love as well.

The events that i alluded to earlier occured over the course of six memorable, excruciatingly painful and overwhelming days. Shahdi was the focus of a maelstrom of massive proportions. In wishing to protect my dear daughter i will not elaborate on the events here except to say that the difficulties between mom and daughter led to my getting "custody" of Shahdi after many years of her wanting to live with me and I wanting her here with me and her brothers. I have little time to make a final impact on her young soul as she approaches her fifteenth birthday and then on to adulthood. I have shed more tears over the last week than i have in memory. She is fine, doing well and getting ready to attend the high school. It is as if i was in a dream and have not awakened yet.

When once asked many years ago how could i, whom they believed to be a great father, lose these children. I told them "when they become teenagers i will get them back." i am a happy, single father who is praying for thankfulness.

The darkness has flown away, the sun has risen to it's zenith and joy is found on all faces.

The Deep Dark Forest

Entering the dark forest I must
Losing grip of their hands as if holding dust
With anguish I scream
This must be a dream

Trudging forward in faith and trust
With tears of transferred pain
Yearly it comes like rain
The pain I suffer is but nothing
The pain of those lost
Takes its greatest cost

Many a day without hope
Making due, trying to cope
Yet the forest would not relent
All but the very last drop spent
Sometimes walking, sometimes crawling
Step by step, and with my last breath
I am calling

One day the forest did thin
And what did I spot within
The smiling faces of those long lost
So many years and distance crossed
Rivers of tears come falling down
Joy to an extent profound

Rushing together
With a joy long overdue
We held each other
The love received, its due

Holding hands tight we turned
Walking out of that forest
Our love for Him burned
For guided we were
To find each other and be
Together again, a family

-Shiidon, March 2008

The Red Sunflower

On Saturday, March 1st, I took a 6.5 mile walk and contemplated the Bahá'í Fast which was to start the next day and other issues that seem to work themselves out while walking.For the past three years I was on antibiotics for sinus infections and overall not in good health. I expected no difference this year. I awakened and realized that Shervin, my oldest, needed his breakfast before it was too late. I prepared breakfast for him and then went to sleep without eating or drinking. I awakened later and to my surprise was able to fast for the remainder of the day. I had dinner with the boys. John, one of the boys that hangs out with us, became a Bahá'í and this is his first fast. That night I had a special dream of 'Abdu'l-Bahá.

Winrik, for health reasons, has known that he does not need to fast. He also, for reasons that normally hit many teenagers, feels ambiguous about his Bahá'í identity. On Monday, he gave me a rich and beautiful gift. He fasted.

There are two or three poems and stories in my head wanting to come out. However, this poem came to me last night. It may not be my best or worst poem but it is the first I have written for Winrik (He has red hair). I am still fasting with great joy and good health.


The Red Sunflower

From afar the red one would seem
To be nothing more than an oddity
Being looked on with chagrin
From those who choose not to look within

Others choose not to be apart
For they have looked within his heart
And see within that young man
A heart that gives as much as it can

Others wonder at the depth of that mind
Hard placed to find a match in kind
Sharp and probing questions he asks
The apparent clown unmasked
Taxing the speaker
To reach deeper

As a father seeing so much within
Fighting to reach out and begin
To be a man in this world of ours
The caring heart within
The sharp mind
And happy grin

His hugs of joy know no bounds
His hearty laughter resounds
Yet all these pale when compared
With the greatest gift
This father could have
Like a sunflower turning to the sun
He decided to Fast
His very first one

-Shiidon, March 2008