Mirror Mirror

MIRROR MIRROR

I look in the reflection

Of my eye

Trying to understand

Why

Who is it

I see in me

The outer visage

Or the inner me

Objective, I’m not

For that’s our lot

Flaws scream out

Vying with each other

To break out

I work each and every day

Every hour

Every way

To overcome the flaws in me

To, in some way, change destiny

The more I hear praise

The deeper the warning

It doth raise

Words like these

Hath many razed

Now, as I look back at me

And the few virtues

I dare to see

Cause reflection

To a deeper degree

Take any virtue

You may know

And to varying degrees

In us doth show

Some have advanced

Far beyond

And others

Our place

Do they long

In this, there is

Nothing wrong

We each have

A capacity

A limit to where

We are meant to be

And that level differs

Between you and me

The pain

In that face

That looks back at me

Is in some ways a comfort

From self to flee

I want to be free

From this cage of me

That yearns

For its destiny

What holds me back

Is how much I lack

Though to others

Tis unjust self-attack

I think of how

I must atone

Of this I bemoan

For there is little

To be shown

As I face that lofty thrown

So tis the fear

That keeps me here

Working away

Day by day

To improve my lot

In any way

-Shiidon, October 2010

Working hard and things are going well overall. So that does not explain the tone of this poem. I was just thinking about life when this poem started to flow in my head. I put out the piece of paper and caught the words. Not every poem is going to be upbeat. :-)

Contemplation

CONTEMPLATION

I reflect on friendships

Come and gone

Those lost in past

Those new found

Some are deep

From which bounties we reap

Some are profound

Souls both simple and renowned

Some fly by

Leaving us

To question why

Others flow through time

And become refined

Some bring pain

Some dissipate

Others, with lessons remain

I read words

That bring me peace

Knowing from pretense

I am released

Intentions pure, sincere

Do draw me near

And yet detached

I lose fear

Lyrical the voice

That speaks to me

Like a brook, a bird

A sweet melody

A heart that dares

To show it cares

With no expectations

That I’m aware

A souls who’s presence

Doth embody

All these in essence

The window to

That soul I see

And within I may swim

An eternity

What is it we seek

A peace of mind,

Of soul replete

Making us whole, complete

I embrace this state of being

Though my future

I am not seeing

I do not take for granted

The friendships

For which I’ve been granted

I breathe a sigh

And contemplate

At my present state

And smile

For what doth await

-Shiidon, October 2010

This weekend I reclaimed my dining room. For the first time in a very long time I started to eat my meals in the dining room. I miss the boys being around but that small bit of civilized life is refreshing. The photo here I took as I was finishing the poem. This is my neighbors back yard and part of mine from my dining room window. The benches are set up to look over the drop off to the creek and the rustic greenbelt beyond. As I sat there I reflected more and more on life and this poem came to me.

Breaking Point

BREAKING POINT

Regard a tree

And what do you see

A creation

Growing majestically

The elements were harsh

When it was young

Forcing it to grow

Hardy and strong

Stating firmly

“I belong”

Like that tree

The same can be said

In you and me

For we are young, unformed

Reaching for

Where we belong

The elements we face

Are not so clear

Though they are always present

So near

They are the tests

Which upon us fall

Prodding and pushing

For a breach in our wall

The tests that come

And how we respond

In our strength and character

They correspond

Tis true the tests

Can e severe

But to the divine

They draw us near

We do not always realize

The growth we’ve had

Making us more wise

Though to persevere

We must rise

We do not see

What others see

How these tests

Have shaped you and me

And how strong a tree

We’ve come to be

-Shiidon, October 2010

An image came to mind today as I was driving to work. It was the breaking point of things. For example, we know that trees will bend in the wind. If they do not bend, they will break. If you have ever been on an airplane, the wings flex. A ship is designed to bend. I then thought about the tests that we are besought with, and how we must bend or we can break. I then thought about a tree and how the tree grows strong almost because of the tests it withstands.

These are not new concepts, they just came to my mind and inspired this poem.

Cup of Tea

CUP OF TEA

I reach out

For that cup of tea

That never seems

To come to me

I close my eyes

And breathe deep

And though troubled

Soundly sleep

I strive to reach within

To know myself

A place to begin

Somewhere less known

To my chagrin

And yet

T'is no surprise

That I reach out

To another

As one would surmise

T'is friendship

We search out in need

T'is human nature indeed

From this

We’ll never be freed

It seems

When you've found

With someone to share

That there is a joy

When someone doth care

The conversations doth flow

And on and on they doth go

More and more

Of each other doth show

And the more of each other

Doth one know

There is a peace

That settles in

When the conversations end

And the reflections begin

To me

What this has shown

Is that we are not meant

To be alone

Having said this

Being with another is bliss

But there’s more to say

Or I’d be remiss

Even though

With another

Is nature to be

T'is not always

Meant to be

Some with another

Have made a home

Many though

Find themselves alone

This is not

A sorrowful state

It could be summed up

As fate

Could be destined

Or innate

Take the moments

That come to you

Grab and hold on

For what your due

The opportunities

Far and few

Lest we can

Look back with remorse

At life, and

Its fateful course

Or know for sure

That we do endure

And relish each moment

Both certain and unsure

In the end

I say this my friend

I will live each moment

Through and through

Take joy in moments

High and low

And from these

My spirit doth grow

And one day maybe

T’is meant to be

That I’ll reach out

And hold

That cup of Tea

-Shiidon, October 2010

After writing the previous poem I was reflecting on being alone in the house now that Shervin has his own apartment. For some reason, I closed my eyes and imagined being handed a cup of tea. I reached out and grabbed the imagined cup of tea and went through the motions of taking a sip from that imagined cup. This poem begins and ends with that cup of tea.

This image is of two cups I own by Mottahedeh china. By the way, if you click on any of the images in this blog you can see them enlarged. In this case you can view the art on the cups in detail.

Tipping Point

TIPPING POINT

Looking deep

Within my heart

I find myself

Falling apart

For again

I doth start

From the known

Do I depart

There are roads

As yet untread

Ways and paths

From which I’m denied

The path before me

I’ve never seen

But the one

For which

I have dreamed

That first step

I do fear

For pain and suffering

Have always been near

And I have shed

Many a tear

My breath is gone

My heart doth stop

As I look

To that mountain top

What will I find

If I dare tread

Does it merit

My dread

Nay say I

For tis a step

I’ve self-denied

One that many

Others have made

But I’ve long delayed

How is it

That one so sure

Could hesitate

And longsuffering endure

Two fates doth await

Which will embrace

And which will abate

One chance leads

To despair

To pain and lack of care

Of wishing to take a dive

And woe betide

Not be alive

The other

Leads I know not where

For that is something

Of which I’m unaware

But leads to one

Who may care

If only someone

Would dare

Choices lead us

On many a road

No one knows

Or can forebode

What lies before

Or what’s in store

Life is full of choice

Some lead to woe

And some we rejoice

The key is

In this, we have a voice

-Shiidon, October 2010

So, I had a busy first weekend alone. I cleaned, did laundry, took out the trash and did the much delayed and feared Income Taxes. Yes, procrastination on taxes is not something to be proud of. I rewarded myself with watching a couple of movies. I, as you may have gathered, do not watch TV but love watching movies. I found myself not able to sleep until I wrote another poem. I can't explain this one except to say that the words kept leaping out onto the paper. It started as a cup of tea and ended up with what you see here. The tea poem will come soon.

While it has nothing to do with the poem, I wanted to share this photo of my children holding their recently born cousin Lulu.

With Gratitude

WITH GRATITUDE

I've called Your Name

For most my life

But sadly mostly

While in strife

I've pleaded to be led

To the right door

But sadly

I‘ve asked for more

I've bargained in vain

Making of it

A mockery, a game

But that’s human nature

All the same

I've offered to take

Another’s pain to me

Wanting their life

To more peaceful be

And their suffering

To flee

I've cried aloud

And shouted at You

Not knowing

In suffering

What to do

I look at others

And see my lot

Knowing the futility

That comparisons

Have brought

Why me?

I've asked many a time

No answer has come

At least none

That come to mind

I trudge along

Day by day

And work hard

To follow Your way

Knowing in the end

Taking heed will pay

As time has advanced

I see with a new eye

At these events

That have gone by

A new perspective arises

As time goes by

I am grateful

For all You give

For giving me

The chance to live

I am blessed to know

All the beautiful souls

I have come to know

And in service

My gratitude, I show

Each person

You've put in my way

Has given me lessons

And made my day

And given me a chance

To You somehow repay

The pain I've had

Is my growing

So not bad

And in reflection

My ingratitude

So sad

I see before me, possibilities

That before were disabilities

And I now see, as opportunities

I will attempt to learn

Each lesson You provide

And attempt to recognize

The way You doth guide

Even if I fail,

At least I tried

Thank You again

For the gifts You bestowed

A debt impossible, yet still owed

Knowing upon me You’ll not place

An impossible load

Please bestow upon me

What I need

And not for which

I plead

I desire what You will

And to be,

In the end

Set free

-Shiidon, October 2010

Shervin, my oldest son, spent his first night in his first apartment. This of course means that he is at a new stage in this life we all lead. In his 20 years he has learned a lot of lessons and has many more to learn. I, in my over two score years, have had many lessons to learn and many to come. However, I was reflecting on attitude when it comes to facing the tests in our lives. I wrote this poem as a result of the emptiness of Shervin leaving and the perspective we have on tests. The photo is one taken at my first house in Lakeway back in the late 1990's. I am with Shervin, Winrik and Shahdi. The following is a prayer I say every day that these words attempt to describe to an inadequate degree.

Glory be Thee, O my God! But for the tribulations which are sustained in Thy path, how could Thy true lovers be recognized; and were it not for the trials which are borne for love of Thee, how could the station of such as yearn for Thee be revealed? Thy might beareth me witness! The companions of all who adore Thee are the tears they shed, and the comforters of such as seek Thee are the groans they utter, and the food of them who haste to meet Thee is the fragments of their broken hearts.

How sweet to my taste is the bitterness of death suffered in Thy path, and how precious in my estimation are the shafts of Thine enemies when encountered for the sake of the exaltation of Thy word! Let me quaff in Thy Cause, O my God, whatsoever Thou didst desire, and send down upon me in Thy love all Thou didst ordain. By Thy glory! I wish only what Thou wishest, and cherish what Thou cherishest. In Thee have I, at all times, placed my whole trust and confidence.

Raise up, I implore Thee, O my God, as helpers to this Revelation such as shall be counted worthy of Thy name and of Thy sovereignty, that they may remember me among Thy creatures, and hoist the ensigns of Thy victory in Thy land.

Potent art Thou to do what pleaseth Thee. No 192 God is there but Thee, the Help in Peril, the Self-Subsisting.

- Bahá'u'lláh

Windows in Time

WINDOWS IN TIME

I look into

A window, the past

A moment in time

Frozen fast

I delve within

That world I see

And ponder long

At what could be

Do I live

M moments too long

Focusing on places

Where others belong

Wanting to connect

This can’t be wrong

The draw never-the-less

Is strong

I see the place

I want to be

Though in the past

It cannot be

But could I hope

In times to come

That within

Other windows

I may come

With whom

Will a future window

I share

Do I hope or dare

Or in my hopes

Will I despair

And will anyone

But me care

I have left a trail

Of windows behind

A life well lived

Of me to remind

To those left behind

As I now stare

At others in kind

-Shiidon, October 2010

I was looking at some photos last night and reflecting on them today. It seems that photographs are both windows in time and also portals to other worlds. There is so much that can be seen in a photo. We can see a person and weave a whole story behind the photo. We can see others and reflect on them. We can look at the places and reflect on them as well. These images transport us like a time machine into the past, ours and those of others. We can piece together a life just by the photos that are left behind. I am drawn to the movie Vanilla Sky again in that like that lead character, we can choose to live in the moment pictured or created for us as is the case of the movie, or we can choose to live in the real world. From time to time though, it is wonderful to travel in time or visit with loved ones present or departed through their windows.